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[法國尼斯, 一九五六年一月七日]
--Sylvia Plath, 羅浩原 譯
前往旺斯——向陽的山丘上一座小巧、
未商業化、步調緩慢又平靜的小鎮。
徒步至馬諦斯禮拜堂——
小巧、清淨、線條簡潔。
白牆配藍瓦頂
在太陽下閃閃發光。卻關門了!
一週只對外開放兩天。
一位好心又多話的農夫對我說
每天都有有錢人開著大汽車
從義大利、德國、瑞典等國過來,
都吃了閉門羹,
就算願捐大筆香油錢。
我孤寂地漫步到高牆圍繞的修女院後方,
在可以窺見禮拜堂的一隅之處寫生,
自覺像仙境外的愛麗斯,看著白鴿與橘樹。
當我返回前門睜睜地望著
隔著鐵欄杆一臉悵然,
我哭了起來。
我知道裡面有多麼美好,
一片純白任陽光
從青碧輝黃的彩繪玻璃窗灑下。
此時我聽到有人說「別哭了,進來吧」,
大修女讓我進去,
卻拒絕了所有坐汽車來的貴人們。
我在陽光的正中心跪下
在天空、海洋、太陽的顏色、
在純白的禮拜堂的正中心跪下。
「您人真好」,我喃喃自語。
修女微笑著。
「這是神的慈悲」。這就是愛。
P.S.此作原文是Sylvia Plath寫給母親的信,由筆者重新排版斷句譯成。
Quoted from: Sylvia Plath, Aurelia Schober Plath, ed., Letters Home: Correspondence 1950-1963 (New York: HarperPerennial, 1992), p.203-5.
[Nice, France January 7, 1956]
--Sylvia Plath
To Vence—small, on a sun-warmed hill,
uncommercial, slow, peaceful.
Walked to Matisse cathedral—
Small, pure, clean-cut.
White, with blue tile roof
Sparkling in the sun. But shut!
Only open to public two days a week.
A kindly talkative peasant told me stories
Of how rich people came daily in large cars
From Italy, Germany, Sweden, etc.,
And were not admitted,
Even for large sums of Money.
I was desolate and wandered to the back of the walled nunnery,
Where I could see a corner of the Chapel and sketched it,
Feeling like Alice outside the garden, watching the white doves and orange trees.
Then I went back to the front and stared
With my face through the barred gate.
I began to cry.
I knew it was so lovely inside,
Pure white with the sun
Through the blue, yellow, and green stained windows.
Then I heard a voice, “Ne pleurez plus, entrez,”
And the Mother Superior let me in,
After denying all the wealthy people in cars.
I just knelt in the heart of sun
And the colors of sky, sea, and sun,
In the pure white heart of the Chapel.
“Vous être si gentille,” I stammered.
The nun smile.
“C’est la miséricorde de Dieu.” It was love.
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