蔗尾蜂房

呼吸

--Mark O'Brien* (1949–1999)

抓一把稻草很容易

你能看見稻草

「大氣，這完美的蒼穹之頂，你看看你」

以每平方吋十五磅之勢

直直往下摁住我

你像一片濃稠、沈重、泛著藍光的大海

托起一隻隻兀鷹的體重

任其游動攪拌起渦流

而我能得到的僅有一絲細流

恰似一條手指粗細的繩索維繫住我的性命

我卻得勤苦如碼頭工人不斷來回聯繫

水可不會這麼小心周到

水隨時會衝撞進來如喝醉的水手

而空氣總是拘謹且有教養

以其近在咫尺卻天涯無垠來挑逗我

這龐大無比、環繞周匝的大氣層

縱有億萬加侖之量與億萬英里的天空

卻僅願分我九十立方公分

我仍是不顧一切吸了氣

縱然知道會痛

痛徹我皺巴巴的紙袋肺的疲乏末端

*Mark O'Brien從小罹患小兒麻痺症，全身癱瘓，得靠看護照顧與人工呼吸器「鐵肺」維持生命。但他躺在「鐵肺」中唸完柏克萊大學學位，撰寫詩文與報導伸張殘障人士的權利。

Breathing

--Mark O'Brien (1949–1999)

Grasping for straws is easier;

You can see the straws.

“This most excellent canopy, the air, look you,”

Presses down upon me

At fifteen pounds per square inch,

A dense, heavy, blue-glowing ocean,

Supporting the weight of condors

That swim its churning currents.

All I get is a thin stream of it,

A finger’s width of the rope that ties me to life

As I labor like a stevedore to keep the connection.

Water wouldn’t be so circumspect;

Water would crash in like a drunken sailor,

But air is prissy and genteel,

Teasing me with its nearness and pervading immensity.

The vast, circumambient atmosphere

Allows me but ninety cubic centimeters

Of its billions of gallons and miles of sky.

I inhale it anyway,

Knowing that it will hurt

In the weary ends of my crumpled paper bag lungs.

July, 1988

Mark O’Brien, "Breathing" from The Man in the Iron Lung.