Elise Paschen (1959- ), "東史考特街十二號" @ 蔗尾蜂房

Elise Paschen

東史考特街十二號
--Elise Paschen (1959- )，羅浩原譯

我們搬回我爸家時
我身高已夠按到最頂的按鈕
讓咱們的歐提司牌電梯緩緩上升

我媽扭開她的蜥蜴皮
愛馬仕凱莉包，勾出來
一串白熱熾人的鑰匙

世上唯有此處聞起來
像家。我們從進門廳漫遊而過
兩側貼滿報導我媽的剪報*

她拉動最上層右側的抽屜
（我下巴剛剛高過櫃頂）
打開了她的桃花心木五斗櫃

家是我媽發現內藏在
她抽屜金髮女人裸照的地方
斜倚著海灘巨石擺姿勢

我媽用她的拇指
遮住那張快照的下半部
平靜地問：「這不是妮可嗎？」

我倒吸一口氣不知是否該
說「對」。我媽持著
那張照片用指頭

對摺、再對摺
對摺到剩下
一丁點丟進字紙簍

家是我媽…家是我媽
她衣服全瀰漫著客機的味道
被她從提包、皮箱中取出

家是我媽攤開她精心收摺的
一件件聖羅蘭女裝、外套、禮服
調整好袖口、肩部

吊上衣架，掛進
整齊衣櫥中她享有的那一半
家是我媽排好她的褻褲、胸罩

絲襪、手帕、皮包、手套
收進衣櫃抽屜，逐步
從頂層，一層一層一層往下收

*譯註：作者的母親是知名的芭蕾舞蹈家

Elise Paschen, Infidelities, Brownsville, OR: Story Line Press, Inc., 1996, pp.67-68.

12 East Scott Street
--Elise Paschen

We move back to my father’s home
when I can press the highest button
of our slow Otis elevator.

My mother unclasps her lizard
Kelly handbag and fishes out
a ring of incandescent keys.

This is the only place that smells
like home. We travel down the hallway
hung with clippings about my mother.

She pulls open the top right drawer
(my chin just clears the top)
Of her mahogany bureau.

Home is my mother finding inside
her drawer a snapshot of a blond
posing naked against beach boulders.

My mother covers with her thumbs
the bottom half of the snapshot,
evenly asks, 'Is this Nicole?'

I hold my breath and wonder whether
to answer yes. My mother takes
the photograph between her thumb

and forefinger, quarters the picture,
quartering and quartering
the bits into the wastepaper basket.

Home is my mother. Home is mother
with airplane smell on all her clothes,
when she unsnaps each suitcase, trunk,

when she unfolds her nicely folded
St. Laurent blouses, jackets, dresses,
positioning the arms, the shoulders

on hanger after hanger in
her half of their well-arranged closet,
when she lines up her panties, bras,

stockings, handkerchiefs, purses, gloves
in dresser drawers, beginning at
the top, then working her way down.